Tuesday, April 26, 2011

My best friend




Two years ago tonight I sat by the bedside of my best friend, waiting for pancreatic cancer to take her. She had been with me my whole life.... loving me unconditionally.... watching over me.... teaching me. As I grew and had children of my own, I loved her in ways that as a child and teen I could never have understood. When we came to know that her time was short, she amazed us all by writing her own obituary. She spoke to the funeral director and made her wants known to him. She planned her funeral, asking those whom she wanted to participate if they would. She made sure my father had new pants and a shirt to wear for that day...... seriously, who does that??? Someone who holds others well being far above her own.
I held her hand the following morning for a long time. Of course true to form, she passed away when I left her side for just a few minutes. The loss of my mother was devastating. At the same time my father was also battling cancer. He passed away 9 months to the day after my mom. Other family issues kept me so busy that the one year anniversary of her death was difficult, but being so preoccupied kept me from really dealing with it. Not so this year...lol. Sorry my friends that I've been MIA the last few days... just needed a little time to work it through.
Anyway... The reason behind this post :)  The Christmas before, I made my mother a quilt. I made blocks with the handprints of my brothers, sister, and myself, with a heart on the palm. I emboidered our names in the heart. The poem posted above went on it's own block. I wish I had taken a picture of it, it turned out really awesome ( if I do say so myself...lol) She LOVED it! It was buried with her, covering her with the love we have for her :).
Since Mother's day is just around  the corner, and I can't see my mother smile.... I wanted to post this just in case someone might want to use the idea for their own mothers. My mom would be so happy to know that we could help to bring a smile to someone else.
Thank you for your patience, and for continuing to visit! xox Nikki

30 comments :

Michleene said...

She was amazing. You are too. I'm sending you an comment hug!

gbinion said...

thank you so much for sharing this, nikki. i lost my dad a year and a half ago to pancreatic cancer and know 1st hand how traumatic it is. this hand now means so much more than it did at first glance!

friends.....

Nichole said...

You are such an amazing woman and I'm so sorry for your loss. I love the idea. It perfect for mothers day. Thanks for all of your drawings. Me and the kids love looking at them and if course rylen wants to know when we can get together and have a play date.

lisastuf said...

Oh Nikki, I'm so sorry for your pain & loss.
Thank-you for posting this...it is a beautiful tribute to your Mom.
I wish I was talented enough to make a quilt for my Mom, because this is a wonderful idea!
XOXO
Lisa

JOAN said...

Nikki, you made me cry, this is a wonderful tribute to your mother. She must have been a great lady and you are following her steps closely. Thanks for sharing this story. You have given me the best idea for the best card for my mom ever. I will bring this idea to live and share it with you. God bless you.

AllisonG said...

Love you, Nikki! xoxo

jackie ranieri said...

Nikki...thanks so very much for sharing your heart for your precious Mom!! I lost my Mom to ovarian cancer in May of 94; she never left our home once she was diagnosed. My Dad moved in too. I miss her, but I know that I'll be with her forever in heaven!! May God continue to bless you and yours,
Jackie

Sherri Auld said...

Nikki, what an amazing tribute to your amazing mother. I know what you are feeling having lost my own mother, my best friend, confidant and supporter. May God hold you close and know she is watching over you with all the love she has.

Scrapendipity said...

Wow. I can't imagine anything more beautiful to say about such a wonderful person as your mother. {{{HUGS}}} What a special person she was. And how lovely she passed along so much special to you as well. {heart} you!

Hugs, and thank you!
Shar

Misty said...

*sob*
Hummer Hugs,
Misty
http://deliteful-gifts.blogspot.com/
hummingbird204 at comcast dot net

Heather "Hev" said...

Thinking of you at this time, and thank you for sharing your story. I watch my Mum sick everyday and although they got the cancer - the past 8 years has given more complications than you could imagine. So its a daily battle that we all try and get through and I feel useless in not being able to control it.

Thank you for the drawing though :)
Have a great day :) and the memories of your Mother will continue to radiate her smile through yours :)

Laura said...

Oh my gosh, you have me in tears. How beautiful that your buried your mom with it. She clearly knew how much you loved her. Sending you cyber hugs. Thank you for sharing that with us.

Anonymous said...

Thankyou, what wonderful thought of your mom
Donna

Nicole said...

how amazing. lots of love!

Shelly said...

Nikki, I haven't been on your blog in weeks due to being very ill. I know God sent me by today just to read your post about your mom. Loving hugs and prayers to you, sweet friend.

doodlebuddies said...

Darling Nikki.
I am in tears. Such a beautiful tribute to your loving mother. She was really a very special and courageous woman to have prepared so well for her final journey but she left behind something more special ~ her legacy in you. Pray for her peace, Nikki.
As long we remember them ~ they are alive for us.
I was bought up by my grandma and when she passed away .. .. I still feel the vaccum and so many regrets. But I pray for her and I know in my heart, she is in a better place than she could ever be. Inshallah.
Love you darling and giving you a big warm hug.
Naush

Cindy said...

Hi Nikki, Thank you so much for your story!! I'm so sorry for your losses. I lost my Dad suddenly almost 3 years ago, and I think about him every single day. My Mom is still with us. This is so nice for you to post for others to use for their Mom's. Hugs to you!! Cindy

Monkey Toes Too said...

Nikki, I understand your your pain. I lost my Dad almost 13 years ago to luekemia. He had been battling it for 18 months. Then 6 years ago my mom walked out of the lives of her kids and grandkids. No illness she just didn't want us anymore. All I can say is your mom sounds like an amazing woman and time does heal the heart.

Scrapbooking Beginner said...

Aww Nikki. I don’t understand the pain of losing a parent. I'm just so happy to hear your story. My mom calls my home every day. Life without her I don’t think I would see my way. Thanks for sharing your mom's LOVE with us. Thanks So Much!

Amy said...

Thanks for sharing your story... blessings to you today!

Amanda said...

Thanks for the beautiful story! What a way to start out my day :D Sending you hugs! xoxo And thanks for the cute images and great ideas! :D I'll have to remember that! :D

mrscuddlytiger said...

Thanks Nikki. This idea will make a wonderful gift. It's tough to lose those we love so dearly...glad to see you taking the time you need to heal & remember, it's so important. :)((((hugs!)))

♪♫♥ Charity Crafter ♪♫♥ said...

That was so moving Nikki x sending you virtual hugs x leigh x

Morgan Hardy said...

mother i love you so much and it was devestating i can't lie. i hope that you are happy to know that i'm sitting in eastshore where it is completely silent and every one is staring at me because i am bawling. and i feel like i must correct you on the timing of grandpa's death it was seven months because i thanked god everyday that he was still there. it was seven months to the day. remember my tattoo? 4/27/09 & 11/27/09. i love you and i'm sorry i didn't get to spend time with you yesterday or much time with you on wednesday... i love you so so much.

Purple Card Lady said...

Oh Nikki, thank you for sharing this with us. I actually have an idea for my mom. She turns 70 next year and I would love to do this for all her children (17) and grandchildren (too many to count).

Ardilla said...

Thanks for sharing this... very moving, I'm in tears... My dad went to his eternal home less than one year ago, I still have my mom and I love your idea.
I'm still mourning and working out my dad loss.

Nikki said...

Thank you everyone for your support and understanding, and for sharing your experiences. And thank you Morgan, for correcting me.... it's a good thing that I have a child that can count better than I can....lol. Lub you all, Nikki xox

Danielle said...

Thanks so much for sharing your story... what beautiful tribute to your mother! Thank you for sharing your life with us all.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing, I lost my Mum 20 years ago. And your story enveloped me with my mothers love for a moment. xxxx jayne xxxx

*Heart2Heart* said...

Aww wthis brough a tear to my eye. Thank you for such a beautiful image and sentiment too

x